by mindracernotchaser

I am more lost than ever, and I miss Spain.

Coming home has been a tough adjustment, I reckon I was only gone 4 months but I feel as if I grew and was exposed to so much during that brief period. Upon returning I quickly realized how much all my grandparents have aged, I suppose it becomes more apparent when you haven’t seen people for an extended period of time. Aside from that I feel like nothing else changed, my friends are still my friends, and people are still the same people. I have decided to put more energy into relationships that allow me to love and grow sans repetitive problems and mistreatment. I love everyone in my life however it gets draining always having constant issues with people, or trying to talk to people and getting nothing back. I give up guys. Sorry. I’ll always be receptive unless I am extremely busy at the moment or have family obligations, but I can’t keep trying to mend problems that are a result of unnecessaryness. I will always speak kind words, however cannot be part of these games anymore. I think its time we all grow up (including myself, mostly myself) and realize what is important in life. Back to basics, to the foundation. Love the people around you, care for them, and treat them well. Before you become bitter/upset/annoyed think about what you are creating an issue from. A majority of the time things aren’t worth it, we as humans just complicate everything. I, for one, do this often.

Also, for the people who claimed I forgot them or made no effort, this is untrue. I had enough faith and respect for our friendship that I knew not being in constant contact for 4 months wouldn’t kill it. Our relationship is deeper than habitual trivial conversations, I can only hope you see it that way as well. Additionally, I know the people closest to me knew how much this meant to me. I appreciate that. I can’t explain how much I missed everyone, family and friends alike, however for once in my life I tried to completely focus on myself (problems and happiness included). It was refreshing to be away, in a entirely unfamiliar place, on the other side of the world. It was something completely new for me, as I didn’t go too far for university, and I wanted to make the most of the experience.

It was the best 4 months of my life, I cried as the taxi pulled away from my Barcelona flat. I know I will go back one day. And I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to study and live there, for this I thank my parents times a million.