I feel a giant wave cascade over me and pull me under and I’m disoriented and I can’t tell up from down or air from water or bubbles from clouds I feel salt on my cheeks but is it derived from sea or deep inside me? I’ve wished to be a surfer or a mermaid; this longing, I think, has been kept for this exact moment. I have emotions inside of me so big that I sink to the bottom of the ocean floor (or the end of the sky), anchors and deadbolts inside of me and I feel them whirlpool at a constant rate; I choke on sea tears and bubble clouds; I don’t know if I’ll be able to compass myself. I don’t know where the combination of disorientation and whirlpools and deadbolt anchors will take me. I’m scared. I don’t know if I’ll be okay. I shout into the void.